Our first session in March was an emotional one for both of us. The best words have already been written about this experience by both of us in an exchange of diaries. And those words are used here....first are extracts from P's diary:
"I took a deep breath and knocked, knowing when I stepped through that door, everything would change. I wasn’t sure if you heard me at first. My heart was racing as I put my bag down on the stool and I hardly dared look at you. The glimpses of you I caught, showed me my beautiful Lady. I also spotted several things on the bed behind you... You looked so calm and ready, sitting there, your legs crossed and just a glimpse of lace tops on your hold-ups. Kneeling and kissing your hand was a relief, a relief that I was finally there and this was real and actually happening. Giving the control over to you was so right for me. I know I was shaking but it was anticipation as much as nerves. You were so calming and reassuring, the way you gave instructions, touching and stroking me. I loved the way you focused on looking at me and what I was wearing, inspecting me. Then removing my clothing on demand, your tone was perfect, almost hypnotic. I knew the moment would come so soon when I’d be taking off my underwear too. Your appreciation of me in the underwear was very arousing, and all the time you were stroking me, reassuring me. I know you wanted me to talk to you more, but other than answering your questions I just couldn’t and I don’t know why. I think it may have been the mental and sensation overload. Taking off my panties was so much easier than my bra. I did hesitate with my bra but knew that if I didn’t then I would never be able to move forward. Your appreciation of my breasts made it easier for me too. Standing in front of the mirror in the full lights was very difficult for me and humiliating in many ways. There was nowhere to hide from myself and my imperfections. Seeing your hands touching me, holding my breasts was erotic and made it easier. I know you want me to do it everyday and I will and one day I will see what you see. Thank you for not leaving the light on for too long though.
You binding my wrists was a very liberating experience, but not as much as being blind-folded. I was having trouble keeping my eyes open at times, it was just too much. I could only guess what you might do next. I heard you taking your rings off and remembered the comment you made about planning to do that, and my mind started racing. The delicate stroking was sensitising my whole body, waking me up after so long. Then the next thing you used was a stronger sensation. I know you were trying to tickle me but it didn’t seem to be working, until you used your nails on my feet! I couldn’t escape you. I was starting to tingle all over. Your focus on my breasts and nipples was electrifying, teasing and tweaking and pinching them. Then you started with the whip and the sensations became even more intense than I thought possible. I wasn’t something I ever thought I’d enjoy but I did. Then there was whatever you put on my nipples, it was just on the edge of painful for my right nipple when you removed it, I couldn’t have taken much more of it. I started to cry with relief but couldn’t fully tell you why at the time. When I decided to have the operation, I was warned there was a risk that I would lose significant sensation in my nipples, and possibly even lose them all together if the blood supply was interrupted. As my breasts got larger, I gradually lost sensation as the nerves were stretch over a larger area. I knew that I know had some sensation back but when you are touching yourself, it’s just not the same as if someone else does it. I never dreamt that post-op I’d ever feel as much as I did on Saturday night, never mind that I’d be in the position that someone would want to touch them and not be put off by my scars. I can never thank you enough for that.
You telling me how wet I was, how you could smell me was incredibly erotic, even before you touched me, then you started to stroke me and I can’t describe just how amazing that was. Calling me your hussy, telling me I was all yours to do with as you wanted and doing it. Pushing your fingers deep into me, searching high inside me, stroking and playing with my clit, being able to see every inch of me and there was nothing I could do about it, was heaven. Kneeling between my legs and pushing them further apart, then pressing yourself against me, being able to feel your breasts against me, I was so sensitive I could feel the slightest movement. I know you said it doesn’t matter than I didn’t cum and I tried not to let it concern me. There were so many sensations to enjoy.
Then you had me lie over your lap, I knew that you would relish this moment and had been particularly looking forward to it. This was again something I had no idea how I would react to, but after the earlier experiences I had began to suspect I would enjoy it. My bum was soon tingling and sensitised, and when the slaps were combined with stroking my clit again, it changed the sensations, heightening everything. Again knowing you could see everything and there was no hiding from you was very humiliating but very erotic, and I suspect had you plotting for the future too. I was hoping my skin was changing colour for you, it felt like it could be and I knew that would please you. I was trying not to make any noise but couldn’t help moving with them, I’m delighted you enjoyed that. The naughty little fantasy about the Head Mistress will certainly give me something to think about! I was starting to get tired but had no idea how long we had been in session for, you were able to read this and wound things up.
Being held and cared for was so special and made me feel so safe and cherished. I wish I had been able to talk to you more then. I know you will never do anything to harm me or push me too far, not that I ever did. I have been able to give you complete control and know it’s the right decision and something I dearly want. I felt so free, especially when restrained and blind-folded, completely dependent on you, and more open to experimentation or new experiences than I was expecting."
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