Beginnings...

It was 8 February 2009 when I finally plucked up the courage to ask my friend, P, if she would be my submissive. We’d only known each other for a short while, but realised we had many shared interests from music to books to sci-fi. And also BDSM. P had a latent desire to be submissive. She’s had two previous boyfriends who had not been able to deliver what she needed. P had been single for several years and was in no hurry for another failed relationship. She also knew she needed to fulfil her dark desires. I knew I wanted to be a dominant but didn’t know where to start, or who with. I didn’t want to start a career in it, just to explore that side of me in a secure and safe environment with someone who trusted me, and someone I trusted to share this side of me with.

I had another friend who is a Dom and he suggested starting with a friend as he had done many years ago. Of course finding a friend who matched that was difficult. But P came into my life at the right time. I believe in Fate being a very spiritual person. During December 2008 and January 2009, P and I had many late night online discussions about BDSM. What turned us on, what didn’t, what we wanted from it, and whether we could actually put it into practise if we found the right person. Our discussions were frank and open. And the more we talked, the more I realised that I wanted her to be my first submissive.

But how to ask? Would I be rejected? Would she laugh? Would it ruin our wonderful friendship permanently? Would she be horrified? The more I thought about it, the more certain I became that she would be right for me. But asking her was downright terrifying. I sought advice from my Dom friend and he just said for me to ask. Eventually I plucked up the courage. The words didn’t flow exactly as I wished and it seemed I was asking without actually asking! P was the one who said ‘are you asking me to be your submissive?’ and I said ‘well I suppose I am!’ I was all tongue tied and nervous! But P immediately said ‘yes!’ and thus our journey had begun.

Once the question was asked and she accepted, the hard work began……