Boundaries

As P had never given over to her submissiveness so totally before, it was important that she knew what her hard and soft boundaries were. I knew that if P said she had no boundaries that it was a recipe for disaster. I instructed P to think about her boundaries, research the different play scenes she might encounter, and see what she was attracted to as well as what turned her off. Without those boundaries, I could not engage in any kind of secure play. Soft boundaries could be explored, discussed and stretched as she became more aware of her body and her desires. Hard boundaries would be complete 'red' zones for her and I would respect them always.

P was honest with me. Through our many online chats, she admitted that she had no idea what would be soft and hard boundaries. Being instructed to establish them gave her an additional purpose and responsibility towards her Lady. If I instigated a play scene which she later realised was a hard boundary, it might be too late before real pain and damage had been inflicted. We owed it to each other to be completely open and honest. It was a two way street. As her Lady, I had to know where the boundaries lay otherwise I could not ensure her welfare at all times.

Researching the different plays, the ways a D and s interact was something P embraced. I didn't expect to get any answers overnight but as long as I had something to go on before our first session, I would be happy. It would enable me to plan our first session with confidence, knowing I wouldn't hurt her intentionally. It took a couple of weeks but P informed me she had made her decision and we had a long chat about her hard and soft boundaries. The hard ones were also ones that I didn't have an interest in so we found ourselves well matched in that respect. There wasn't something that I craved to do which P wouldn't do. The soft boundaries of course, she realised she relinquished to me. P was already aware that I was getting inside her psyche, pushing her buttons. This was all part of the process. There were things dear to me which I wanted to introduce P to, and she knew what they were. She admitted she had no idea how she would react to them. Whether she would embrace them or fear them. Either way she knew it would ultimately be for my pleasure as well as hers. And that was at the heart of her submissiveness. To please her Lady.

So boundaries were set, and I was more secure with that knowledge. Hard boundaries protect, hard boundaries provide security. Soft boundaries can also be stretched, pushed and explored. I realised I had lots of buttons at my disposal and when P realised this, the excitement was all to clear for both of us.