First session Part 2

And now for Part 2, which is my turn...

"How do I put down in words the last 48 hours or so? I don’t think I can begin to describe it as it should be described. I was extremely nervous and emotional on Saturday. Whenever you were bending over in the kitchen or just walking by, I couldn’t help myself from looking at you and your bum. I wondered if you felt my eyes on you? I didn’t know if I would be strong enough to go through with it. More nerves as we got ready. Did I look right? What would I say? How would I say it? Would I be convincing? What if I couldn’t speak? My mouth went dry? All these things and more. I set up the bed and sat there my heart pounding like never before.

When you first knelt in front of me, it was almost surreal. All the weeks of preparation and waiting had come to this. The nerves probably showed in my voice, I was almost lost for words. So I let my actions speak for me. Lots of stroking and petting to comfort you, as I felt you needed that reassurance. My voice was quiet but I hope it was strong enough for you to feel how much I wanted your submission. The touching and stroking was soothing and created a bond between us. When you started to undress, I knew you were scared. The moment when you took your bra off when I instructed you to, I saw a couple of seconds of hesitation. I feared you might not be able to, but you did. And what wonderful breasts they are. There is nothing to be ashamed of. The scars were inconsequential, of no importance. Truthfully I didn’t notice them for a long time, not until later. But I only saw them as a part of you, which I why I stood you in front of the mirror, to see what you truly are. To reconnect with your body again. I know that it became too much for you, but it won't be the last time you see yourself like that.

Laying you on the bed, blindfolding and binding your wrists was something special. Finding your buttons, what to push, what aroused you, what tickled you. And playing with your gorgeous breasts. I learned so much about how your body responds to different things. Tying your nipples and playing with them, and whipping them after releasing them showed me how much more sensitive they became. I smiled many times but you couldn’t see that. Your body responding and writhing as it became more aroused to the slightest touch and also to stronger stimuli such as tweaking your nipples. Once I reached your pussy you were so wet. The one thing I remember most was your clit. So small and perfect. And when I started to play with it, you sighed and moaned as it was something you had dreamed off for a long time but never thought it would happen. When I slid a finger inside your pussy, you were so soft and wet and warm.

It doesn’t matter that you didn’t orgasm. It wasn’t something I was reaching for, although I know it’s what you desperately wanted to do. Please don’t get hung up about it, it will happen when the time is right. This first time was all about bonding with each other and exploring you. I spread your legs and knelt between them, leaning over you. So helpless and yet unafraid. Yearning and wanting to be touched, to be dominated and to give yourself to me. It aroused me so much, I can’t begin to explain and I don’t know if you can imagine that. Apart that you were at the opposite end of that spectrum. I know it was very emotional for you and that you cried. You were able to release some of that emotion. I’m sure it won’t be the last tears that you cry, but they aren’t anything to be ashamed of. They are part of your strength and how you are adjusting to embracing your submissiveness.

Finishing the session off by introducing you to some soft spanking was so amazing. Your bum went a rosy pink and you flinched and jumped with each slap or smack. But I rubbed and caressed in between each one, which aroused you even more as your skin became more sensitive as each slap occurred. I used the whip as well softly then harder so it stung across your skin. Such control and then I would play with your pussy before striking your bum again. I could have done that all night, play, fiddle and slap. I used a little fantasy – me as head mistress and you as teacher. You would flounce your body at me and wear short skirts and small panties, because you were aroused by me and didn’t know why. So as I spanked you over my lap, I spoke of doing it to you at school, in my office, bent over a stool, spanking you with a slipper. I had so much control and you were helpless, but so aroused and excited as I slipped my fingers over and around your pussy, paying attention to your lovely little button clit. You shuddered and writhed on my legs. I didn’t want to stop but things started to come to a natural end and I felt you were tiring.

Afterwards, we cuddled and I held you against my breast. I wanted you to feel safe and wanted. I didn’t know if you could put how you felt into words, but it didn’t matter. It’s like the calm after the storm. So soothing to feel you laying there, a feeling of completeness and a moment to bond again. I could have laid there for a long time, but we needed to leave it and allow it to settle within us. I was slightly surreal to leave the room and go back to ‘normal’ again.

Now that hours have passed us by, I hope that you are able to assimilate and understand how you feel, what happened to you and why I did certain things. I’m sure some of them made you embarrassed, uncomfortable and possibly were tinged with humiliation. But I hope that I was able to balance it with plenty of loving caresses, arousal and stimulation for you. Did I tick all your boxes? Did I live up to your expectations? Was I firm enough, dominant enough, loving and giving of myself to you? I don’t know. Only you can tell me that. And although I was able to slip quietly back into normality once you had left, I only had to touch and hold your cushion to feel my heart welling up inside and threaten to overwhelm me. I truly don’t know if I helped you or hurt you. Whether you want to continue on this journey or stop is up to you now. I didn’t think I could do what we did and have surprised myself.

I know now that I have written this all down, that despite the fears, the emotions, the wait, the soul searching, the tears and everything – I want to carry on this journey, with you. If you want to. I just have to wait for your response and hope you feel the same way to."