Next Steps

P always says that when we're together in the Chamber, she has no concept of time. I am the clock watcher, checking the clock to make sure that P isn't gagged for too long, restrained unduly without cutting off the blood supply, that I don't get carried away with the plug or vibrator so she gets sore. Time is constant for me in the Chamber, it's a check and balance. For P, she has no idea how long a session lasts, let alone how long she has been gagged, spanked, flogged or anything else that takes my fancy. Time is relevant in so many ways for us. The days, weeks and hours we are apart as we live almost 200 miles apart is one aspect and probably the most important one for us on both levels. As our D/s and also in our real life relationship. I know it is 3 weeks and 5 days until we're together again when I make the drive across country to see her for the weekend. It's been 7 nights since P left me to go back to her home and her real life. And though we miss each other every day, we've learned to use that distance and separation as something to make us stronger.

We both have good careers which keep us busy, other friends and family to occupy our time. Real life is constant and a good way of distracting us when the going gets tough. But we chat to each other every day, mostly via messenger but also email, Skype and the good old fashioned telephone. I often write to P, cards and letters. I'm old fashioned that way. Now that my mojo is well and truly re-established, I am keen to maintain our bond and reconnect with P when we are apart. That means going back to e-sessions.

I always wondered if they really worked, whether they were effective in helping us get through the weeks we were apart. P reassured me that they did even though last year it was done via messenger which often made the e-sessions quite long and drawn out while I waited for her to complete her instruction and type back to me. Neither of us had the technology for video etc. A year on, we have the technology which is a little scary. I am very camera shy and find using web cam rather intimidating. I know, a dominant intimidated by technology is quite funny. But it does. But if we're going to make our D/s work this time, then I know we both have to embrace it. I know I'm going to make mistakes, probably freak out a little over it but I don't want it to defeat me. I want to know if being visual/verbal with each other will give me the same effect as messenger sessions have done with P.

With messenger I could use my imagination more. I would give the instruction and visualise in my mind P on her bed, doing my bidding and there was a huge amount of arousal and power derived from this method. I'm apprehensive that some of that power may be lost in using Skpye or video messenger. I don't know why. Logically the power should increase and be reinforced as P can hear and see me and react instantly rather than have the passage of time in between written comments. It should be almost as if we're both in the same room, apart from the fact I can't physically touch her. A regret but something I should be able to overcome.

During the last week, I decided that I would have an e-session on Saturday night. Normally Friday's is 'our' night whether e-session or a 'share' between us which ranges from D/s to personal ones. However with both of us going back to work last week, I suspected we'd both be tired Friday night and a session wouldn't be appropriate. I had given P some verbal instruction to complete daily and wondered if she would remember. A diary was also be required before the e-session took place, a regular deadline. I discussed the options open for us concerning conducting our e-session and I wanted us to try Skype which P was very happy with. She suggested that I use my headphones so she could only hear my voice, while I could see her with her web cam. This would replicate being in my Chamber as P often says she doesn't see much of me with her eyes downcast or blindfolded. She merely hears my voice unless I allow her to look at me.

I sent P her written instructions by email so she was clear in how I wanted her physically and mentally. I also put her on a touching ban from Friday night, I was feeling generous! And as the week progressed, I thought more and more about Saturday night and what I would want her to do. I wanted to keep it simple, and again, about an hour in duration. That word time again. I didn't want to put any pressure on us or more importantly me. Otherwise things would start to unravel very quickly and my old fears would return. But at least now I understand where I went wrong personally and don't want to repeat those old mistakes. I love what I do too much. I get too aroused and enjoy the power and domination too much to want to run away for a second time. I know that P feel so much calmer and at peace now that we have resumed our D/s side of things. But it is only one aspect of our overall relationship. It does make us closer and we share something very special. I'm no expert with D/s, I would never pretend to be. What we do is our way and if it works for us, that's all that matters.

So our next challenge is to embrace 21st Century technology and use web cams and voice to control and dominate. Nerve wracking - yes, scary - yes, fear of the unknown - yes. I'm sure many other D/s couples of whatever persuasion use this regularly and effectively. But doing it for the first time is daunting. I didn't know if I would be able to command and maintain my domination, whether P would be in the right zone mentally. That I would lose my way, get tongue tied, embarrassed and lose the flow of session. I had to get into my own head space if I was going to get this right and make it work. After going through such a long break when the mojo was lost, I didn't want to turn tail and fail again. So when I got to last night, I literally had to take a deep breath and just dive in. P has complete faith in me as her Domme and in my abilities. She knows that e-sessions have worked for us in the past. She was more than ready to embrace the new. Now I just had to have a little faith in myself.