Our sessions in May were the start of something new. When I had first discussed with P what her hard and soft boundaries were, anal play had been somewhere between the two. It wasn't something she was interested in. Now as her Domme, I could still have inflicted it upon her as punishment. However, if P had such strong, negative feelings about it, I believed that there would be little gained from trying to force the issue. As it was P didn't have specifically strong or negative issues. If anything, P was indifferent to it. She hadn't thought about it for her own (or anyone elses) pleasure. She had explored it briefly with an ex b/f but the experience hadn't been enjoyable. As it was, it was P herself who came round to the idea.
Since we had started on our journey together, I had encouraged P to read, read and read up on BDSM and all its connotations. Not just facts like how to do something, what to do if or what should I do but to read up on personal experiences. The more P read, the more her boundaries began to change. She wanted to serve, to please, to submit completely. She wanted to experience the conflict of pleasure from pain, punishment, compliance, humility, servitude, joy and complete abandonment. And it was this path, that led P to opening her mind to anal play. She showed me a particular fiction story about anal play which struck a chord with her. A chord that resonated and sang to her.
I encouraged this chord to sing louder. I suggested to P that she should buy some books on certain things and one of them was anal play. Once P read the book, her interest in anal play went up several levels. We started to talk about it more openly and P expressed her wish that she wanted to explore anal play. She had read how anal play was seen as the ultimate submission by many subs and wanted me to be the one to take her anal 'virginity'. This excited me so much. To be given the opportunity to do this, and also for P to be so willing, wanting and accepting.
When P visited in May, I had plans for this to be the first time I would make this a part of our sessions. Shaving her pussy, branding her to my liking, making her mine was all part of the increased intimacy between us. Enhancing the bonding process. And it would be a natural progression to introducing anal play. I knew that P was excited about it happening, she just didn't know when. And I like to keep things unexpected, retain the element of surprise. To make each session memorable in some way. I was just as excited. For P to give me this ultimate act of submission was thrilling but I also had a sense of pride in being the one to introduce her to anal play. And that she trusted me to be the one to do it. P trusted me not just because she did, she also knew I had previous experience with anal play. That experience was part of her trust in me. Even so, it was another responsibility for me as her Domme.
Was I scared? Yes. Did it stop me? No.
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