I'm only human

Yep even dominants are human. My hussy has gone away for 2 weeks. She's visiting family abroad for the Easter holidays. I'm not jealous or envious. Well just a tad because she's somewhere sunny and hot and I'm here in the UK, though today has been quite sunny minus the heat! But because of the time difference, the level of communication between us will be very limited. When I'm working, I don't get home until the evening and she will be getting ready for bed. I hope the weekends might be better as I can get online earlier and she can stay up a bit later.

But it doesn't stop me missing her, badly. Primarily as my lover and friend, always there whether we talk to each other or not. I know she's there. Now she's not. She's far away. I know it's only 2 weeks, but right now it seems an eternity. My heart aches and I feel an emptiness inside. In our D/s I'm the strong one, the dominant one who controls. Derives my excitement from her submission. In our RL relationship, we are equals and sometimes I relinquish responsibility. All I crave are hugs, kisses and cuddles and surprisingly reassurance. Having had bad relationships in the past, I am inherently insecure with personal relationships always looking for the ending before getting past the start line. My hussy is the first person to have the patience to open my heart and love me in so many ways and on so many levels. I love her and I'm in love with her. To me she's a wonderful woman with a heart of gold and the patience of a saint. She's put up with my mood swings, tears, pangs of jealousy, crisis of conscience, insecurities and so much more over the last couple of years. But in many ways she has shown me that I can love and be loved in return without the fear it will all turn to sand and trickle through my fingers.

I've always been open and honest. I warned my hussy not to expect too much from me in our RL relationship, but she has been patient and persevered in her belief that I could open up to her. I have and sometimes I am frightened she will find someone else especially as she is younger than me. But her faith is unshakable and I have learned to accept what we have now is more important than any unfounded paranoia. So after all my ramblings I suppose I wanted to show how a dominant person such as myself is human, has feelings, and misses her hussy so much. I will miss her every day. She has a part of me with her as I sent her some cards to open over the next two weeks. I'm just a hopeless romantic! And I know she is planning to come down to see me a few days after she gets back. I shall be waiting with open arms and an open heart.