Text Porn

As you are aware, P is away on holiday - Dubai - visiting her family.  She sent me a text to say she was on the beach, soaking up the sun.  Then I received another text, a photo this time of a lovely palm tree set against clear blue sky.  This was her view of the world today.

My view of the world was my garden as I was mowing the lawn, also taking advantage of the lovely sunny weather we are having in the UK at the moment.  It was whilst doing that, an idea came to mind.  After doing the gardening, I went inside to take a shower.  Beforehand, I replied with my own photo taken on my mobile.  A different kind of hedge, just to remind my hussy of what she was missing.  Something intimate yet pornographic.  My wonderful neatly trimmed triangle with just a peak of heaven.  She'll be with me again in two weeks time and I am already plotting and planning for her weekend visit.  I just want to tie her up, gag her and spank her until she moans for mercy.  I want to turn her pale white bottom rosy red with the hairbrush.

I just wish I could have seen the look on her face when she looked at the photo I sent her...

I'm only human

Yep even dominants are human. My hussy has gone away for 2 weeks. She's visiting family abroad for the Easter holidays. I'm not jealous or envious. Well just a tad because she's somewhere sunny and hot and I'm here in the UK, though today has been quite sunny minus the heat! But because of the time difference, the level of communication between us will be very limited. When I'm working, I don't get home until the evening and she will be getting ready for bed. I hope the weekends might be better as I can get online earlier and she can stay up a bit later.

But it doesn't stop me missing her, badly. Primarily as my lover and friend, always there whether we talk to each other or not. I know she's there. Now she's not. She's far away. I know it's only 2 weeks, but right now it seems an eternity. My heart aches and I feel an emptiness inside. In our D/s I'm the strong one, the dominant one who controls. Derives my excitement from her submission. In our RL relationship, we are equals and sometimes I relinquish responsibility. All I crave are hugs, kisses and cuddles and surprisingly reassurance. Having had bad relationships in the past, I am inherently insecure with personal relationships always looking for the ending before getting past the start line. My hussy is the first person to have the patience to open my heart and love me in so many ways and on so many levels. I love her and I'm in love with her. To me she's a wonderful woman with a heart of gold and the patience of a saint. She's put up with my mood swings, tears, pangs of jealousy, crisis of conscience, insecurities and so much more over the last couple of years. But in many ways she has shown me that I can love and be loved in return without the fear it will all turn to sand and trickle through my fingers.

I've always been open and honest. I warned my hussy not to expect too much from me in our RL relationship, but she has been patient and persevered in her belief that I could open up to her. I have and sometimes I am frightened she will find someone else especially as she is younger than me. But her faith is unshakable and I have learned to accept what we have now is more important than any unfounded paranoia. So after all my ramblings I suppose I wanted to show how a dominant person such as myself is human, has feelings, and misses her hussy so much. I will miss her every day. She has a part of me with her as I sent her some cards to open over the next two weeks. I'm just a hopeless romantic! And I know she is planning to come down to see me a few days after she gets back. I shall be waiting with open arms and an open heart.

Equilibrium

There are times when despite the opportunity, things don't always go according to plan.  Or maybe it was never meant to be that way in the first place.  Which is what happened to us a couple of weekends ago.  I drove up to visit P for one of our weekends together.  I was full of anticipation and the car contained my usual array of clothes, lingerie and toy box - well more like a holdall.  Domestic life had been incredibly busy for me in the run up to the weekend, so much so that it wasn't until the day before that I allowed myself to get excited about the visit.  Normally I plan for any visit in advance.  Get a schedule in my mind of what to do and when to do it.  With only 48 hours to utilise, I always have more to do than hours available.  But that doesn't normally stop me.  So I had a rough plan wanting to ensure the right mix of D/s and "us" time.

Once I arrived at P's house, I had time to unpack, have lunch and take a bath before she arrived home from work.  I text her asking her to come straight upstairs.  She didn't know in what context the message was sent.  So it was my pleasure to greet her laying on her lovely double bed, in my sexy lingerie that she had bought for me, covered with scented rose petals.  I am a hopeless romantic.  And there is something decadent about making love at 4 o'clock in the afternoon.  Post orgasm, lying together, arms and legs entwined is always a special place to be in body and spirit.

I think this set the tone for the rest of the weekend.  Mentally I relaxed and found the desire to dominate subside.  I just wanted to enjoy the time we had together as friends and lovers.  We had a lovely day out on the Saturday exploring the nearby countryside, having lunch, walking and enjoying the scenery.  At home, I was content to just be.  Even though P did her usual foot ritual with a lovely massage and pedicure including painting my toenails.  When I had a bath, we talked and kissed and were tender with each other.  Formality was set aside.

On Sunday I had what is becoming my usual photo session.  We always enjoy them for the obvious reasons.  I am just waiting for P to finish editing before she sends them.  Then I can share some of them on FetLife.  Leaving as always is a bitter pill.  Especially as this time it will be six weeks before we meet again.  She is going abroad over the Easter holidays for two weeks to visit family.  With the time difference, there will be little time to communicate properly via MSN or Skype.  It will probably be emails and texts.  But at least it will be communication.

So despite my initial plan, our weekend was tame in D/s terms.  And that wasn't a bad thing.  When P stayed with me for a week at the end of February, we had three rather intense sessions.  I haven't written about them, not because there is anything to hide but because the blog doesn't have to be about every session.  It is more about the journey though the details help to relay that journey.  And I enjoy writing the details.  But obviously we needed balance, a chance to be ourselves without any pressures of performing.  Sometimes I know I put pressure on myself to be her Lady, to be dominant, to be all things for the short space of time we're together.  P has tried to stop me doing this.  It's important for it to be relaxed and natural.  As natural as breathing that I dominate and she submits.  It could be that as our last time was so intense, we needed to step back and breathe together in a different way.  To lay on her bed, waiting, feeling the coil in my tummy, my pussy pulse and throb with excitement, longing for her touch upon my skin was the tonic I needed.  I know now it was the tonic we both needed.

When we next meet, when she drives down to me, I know she will be full of the same anticipation for both aspects of our relationship.  Next time, there will be the tingle of tension for both of us.  The sort that makes you spine shiver and your stomach flip.  Next time will be different again.  And the absence will only add to it.  Balance in all things.