The Lady is back part deux...

I lay out my instruments on my bed prior to our session.  Most have been my staple since our first session almost 6 years ago.  Slowly I have added to the collection but I don’t have a vast array of play toys.  My hussy has her own play box which she looks after.  Her box houses the array of anal sex toys that I use and abuse.  But my toys probably hold the most respect for my hussy, especially the ones that I have used in nearly every session.

I suspect that the one thing she has most respect for is the nipple clamps - lovely purple ones with bells on the end.  My hussy had a fear her nipples would not respond after having a breast reduction operation several years ago.  Sometimes this kind of surgery reduces sensation.  I was able to prove her surgeon wrong.  Her nipples are very responsive and she loves and fears the nipple clamps equally.  I love to see them jingle and jangle on her nipples.  When I flog her lovely breasts she is enveloped with the bitter sweet pain of the flogger and nipple clamps tugging at her breasts.  I can (and have) played with them for a long time.  Longer than she ever imagined possible.

The rubber flogger and leather riding crop came later but are part of my trademark.  I use the riding crop to torture and tease as I please.  I only need to flick my wrist and the sting on skin is evident.  The fan has been with me since day 1.  It is the first thing my hussy sees as I sit with it across my face, hand extended to be kissed in reverence.  I also use it to tease and tickle.  As my hussy is incredibly ticklish, I have to make sure she’s tortured accordingly…

Similarly the eye mask has been used since day 1.  An incredibly simple article that affords the loss of one sense, making others heightened.  One should never underestimate the power of a blindfold.  The element of surprise is always on your side.  I love the way my hussy gasps and writhes when the unexpected touch or smack ignites her skin and her senses.  It could be something gentle and soft or harsh and stinging.  It’s a powerful aspect of play.

The hairbrush is a more recent addition.  I love to corrupt everyday objects such as wooden spoons, brushes, ruler or wooden coat hanger.  The multi use of the hairbrush is admired and feared.  That wonderful sound as it hits the skin reddening my hussy’s ample bottom is music to my ears.  Then I simply turn it over and drag the bristles across the sore skin to even greater affect.  Pleasure and pain in one.  I have used it to punish.  The wide wooden paddle is a keen punisher.  The bristles equally brutal.  My hussy knows when she’s been punished by it.

The bondage tape is also a later addition.  I have used it but still prefer the old fashioned way of tying up or using my other restraints.  I have a set of 4 bed restraints in the photo so I can bind wrists or ankles or all of them.  A lovely image to behold as my hussy is spread-eagled on the bed, ready for my whims.

So, just my basis play toys.  My instruments that inflict pleasure and pain at my hands, as I want, when I want.  I am the one who holds them and wields them.  I respect what they can do and they command respect from my hussy.  But most of all, my hussy respects the one who holds them in her hands.

The Lady is back...

It’s been a long time since my last post.  And much has happened during the intervening months.  Mainly on a personal level so that D/s had effectively stopped.  The reasons for this are varied and I don’t want to go into great detail about it.  I had many things happening at home and I also found myself being more concerned with the real life relationship which had developed between us rather than D/s.  I also tended to put a lot of pressure on myself before our sessions.  I always wanted them to be perfect which meant that after a while, I didn’t enjoy our sessions or look forward to them.  My hussy and I mutually agreed to stop them and concentrate on ourselves.  Which is what we have done for a couple of years.

Last year was particularly hard as I helped my best friend cope when her mum suffered a stroke.  After 5 months in hospital, her mum moved to a care home and sadly died in September.  Her funeral was 4 days before my holiday.  We both needed 2014 to end and draw a line under it which we have thankfully done.  There are still a few things that my best friend needs to tidy up and I shall help her, but the stress has now gone.  My hussy has been strong and supportive throughout this period and I want to publicly thank her for everything she has done for my best friend and myself.

So, during the last couple of years, I have indulged in some soft play but nothing more.  But increasingly over the last 2-3 months, I had found myself thinking about D/s again.  BDSM will always arouse me that has never stopped.  And I have often found solace in reading erotic fiction, perusing Fetlife and photos, websites etc as an escape from the immense pressures of 2014.  So my thoughts returned to my own relationship and stepping back into my dominant role.  Along the way I have lost a certain amount of my confidence and with it my ability to be dominant.  However drawing a line under 2014 helped me to mentally look at myself and realise that there are things about me I should embrace and not try to change.

So although I have stopped smoking (over 2 years), have put on weight (yo-yo’d quite a lot) and am older and hurtling towards fifty, after all that happened last year, I’ve decided not to ignore my needs or desires.  I will lose weight (I have a goal to lose at least a stone before my holiday in May), I will not allow myself to feel weak or inferior, to embrace that I am a dominant woman (not 24/7 but when required or desired) and to return to D/s with my hussy.  And indeed this has already begun when my hussy stayed with me after Christmas until the New Year.  I rang in the New Year with a session.  It felt good to dust of my bag of tricks and peruse them.  It was a frisson of excitement.  A shiver of anticipation.  From now on I will be me and I will not deny myself any longer.

The Lady is back…

The art of discipline

I don't have to discipline my hussy often.  She always strives to be the best hussy for me.  She visited me for 10 days over the Easter period.  Some of that I was at home but four days of it I was at work.  I gave her some simple instructions for her to observe while I was at work.  They were time management based. Very easy to achieve.  But she does have a trouble with time deadlines.  Though earlier punishments had started to correct this.  As I was at work, I arranged for her to be observed in my absence.  They reported back to me that she had failed on at least one occasion to meet her deadline.

I never like to keep these things hanging over my hussy.  I prefer to broach the subject and meet out the appropriate punishment.  And this is what I did.  My hussy was perplexed and believed she had done as I'd asked.  When I disputed this, to her credit, my hussy accepted that she may or may not have met her deadline.  And so I disciplined her.

I do have a cruel streak for discipline, mainly because my hussy is a teacher so it's very much turning the tables on her.  Though there is no longer corporal punishment in schools, I can instill some of the old ways with her.  First was the naughty spot.  An old favourite of mine.  Humbling and humiliating.  She stood nose to the wall, facing the corner of my room with her hands behind her back.  I left her there for several minutes.  What goes through her head?  Maybe she ponders on what will happen next or how to ensure she doesn't make the same mistake again.  I just enjoy the power of sending her into the corner like a four year old.

Then I told her to present herself with trousers and panties removed.  She lay across my lap for an over the knee spanking.  I didn't tell her how many times I would spank her.  I would do it to my satisfaction and instill in her my dominance with my discipline.  I warmed her ample bottom first with my hand.  When her skin started to glow, I switched to the dreaded hair brush.  I started to spank her and after each brace, she thanked me.  Soon she was jumping on my lap and inhaling sharply.  I smiled.  The wood was starting to make its mark.  The cheeks of her pale bottom were soon glowing deep red.  And the hair brush was also leaving neat marks.

I continued for several minutes until I was satisfied that punishment had been administered to my satisfaction and my hussy was suitably humbled by the experience.  I ordered her to stand up.  I gave her a formal dressing down, telling her that if she let me down again, I would give her such a spanking that she wouldn't be able to sit down.  I also withdrew some privileges that night such as internet and reading her book in bed.  Old fashioned lights out at a certain time.  Then I told her the punishment absolved her so that she knew it no longer hung over her head.  I knew that the discipline had done its job.

I'm not sorry for doing it.  Nor am I sorry that I enjoyed it, or that my hussy had red eyes after the punishment.  Turning the tables on her is appropriate and just a little bit delicious.  And if she doesn't want it to happen again, she just needs to remember how her bottom felt afterwards.

Too old to be sexy?

Last week Madonna was promoting her new album MDNA and performed wearing fishnet tights, hot pants and lacy boots.  She was criticised by the media for wearing such apparel because of her age (she's 53).  Now while I may not wear the hot pants or the same kind of boots, I do still have a love of fishnets and boots generally.  I also still wear short skirts.  But the furore made me think - am I too old to be sexy?  When is it too old to be sexy?

Most of this is down to our own society and culture.  What is deemed correct and seemly for a woman to wear at certain ages.  I always have a little voice in my head looking at myself critically to gauge if I'm mutton dressed as lamb.  I accept that while still several years younger than Madonna, I am in my mid forties and hurtling towards the magic five-o.  So should I start to consider what I wear more often and temper if it appropriate.  Obviously I don't go over the top with work wear.  I am not necessarily conservative, but conform to the dress code ensuring I am smart and professional.  That doesn't stop me from wearing knee high boots with a knee length skirt or stiletto heels with my shift dress.  Sometimes I will wear seamed stockings with my stilettos which make me feel sexy and confident while adhering to the dress code. I know from certain admiring looks, that my legs remain my greatest asset and should be showed off to their full potential.  And I enjoy that buzz.

At the weekends I tend to be a jeans girl.  But I also love my denim mini skirt, teamed with funky tights and boots.  Or my kilt mini skirt, again with boots.  Or my PVC skirt.  Again my legs are on show with a variety of boots to show them off in.  In the privacy of my chamber, I have a different wardrobe.  Sexy lingerie, stockings, suspenders, high heeled shoes, basques and bra/panty sets that will make most men (and women) stand to attention.  And because it's private, I don't worry about what anyone will think.  It's just me and my hussy.  And she adores whatever I wear.  So she's biased!

So although I have my own barometer as to what is right or not, the fact that the media slated Madge for her sense of dress, has made me think again.  How much longer can I wear such garments?  When is it appropriate to wear a shorter skirt or when is it time to give it admit it just isn't sexy anymore?  I don't own a pair of hot pants though I have some denim shorts but they tend to be for hot, sunny holidays.  I don't feel comfortable wearing them walking down my local high street even in the height of summer.  I do wear some of my uber sexy lingerie to work under my blouse and skirt or classic shift dress.  Mentally it makes me feel sexy without being glaringly obvious.  I haven't worn fishnets at work as some younger girls do though I do wear them at weekends teamed with a pair of boots.  But is there a line whereby I just shouldn't wear the fishnets in public?  And is that line made by society, convention or the media?

I accept that in 20 or 30 years time, I won't look sexy in fishnets or a mini skirt no matter how much I'd like to.  But in terms of the near future, that line isn't so apparent.  Well not yet.  I'm not mentally prepared for middle age and conformity.  I don't know if I ever will be!  I will resist it as much as possible and hopefully grow old disgracefully.  I know I'm not as slim as I used to be, and I have to work harder to lose the weight and keep in shape.  Sometimes I win, sometimes I fail.  But there is always this sexy girl inside of me who wants to show off, turn a few heads and enjoy doing that.  So who's to tell me I can't do that, I shouldn't wear this or that or "you're too old love".  But as long as I can wear fishnets, mini skirts, seamed stockings, stilettos and boots and look sexy - then does my age really matter?

Hopefully not.  Unless your name is Madonna......

Alive and kicking!

I know it's been a while since I last posted here.  Home life has been hectic especially before Christmas with builders, carpenters, tilers and painters.  Though the end result has been worth the disruption!  After Christmas, other domestic issues simply took precedence so that both blog and D/s life went on the back burner.  My hussy has been my rock and strength during this time.  She has been there when I've needed her.  When things have seemed to be taking their toll, she has helped me to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  And now things at home are finally settling down, my thoughts are turning back to D/s.  The desire is returning.

Some of the routines we'd developed naturally went on hold.  But now I want to put them back into place.  We both need the routine of diaries, e-sessions and tasks.  On one of my hussy's recent visits, I bought her a bracelet to symbolise our D/s relationship.  She knows that whenever I ask her to wear it, she is under my instruction.  She is my submissive for that time.  I was delighted that she both understood its importance and significance.  It is only a simple thing, but it means I can text her when I want her to become both mentally and physically attuned to me even at a distance which is imperative as we are in a long distance relationship.

I also want her to start training again.  We had made so much progress last year especially with her anal training.  So much so that she stated a desire for her to experience strap on anal.  She has hinted at this before but I didn't feel she was ready for it.  As training has also been neglected in our temporary hiatus, she will need to get used to things again before we can reach the holy grail.

Mentally I am always thinking about our D/s.  Physical sessions haven't existed since last September and my confidence has taken a bit of a dip as a result.  The bracelet enables me to command her when she is wearing it and interlace it within our private life.  I can switch during the day from Domme to lover at the click of a clasp.  I know it will return to its former glory and hopefully attain a new level as she strives to be better for me.  Her dominant.

So I will be blogging more frequently.  It's all part of the process back to being well and truly alive.  The hairbrush has been sadly neglected but I feel it will be used quite frequently from now on...

Apologies

For the long silence but home life has been tres hectic leaving little time for even my blog.  And the next month or so will be even more fraught as our home is ripped apart by the builders!  It will be worth it!  I have had some wonderful times with P which I shall impart with you all.  However tomorrow is my glorious birthday.  I am going away with P and my best friend for the weekend.  I shall be spending the night with my hussy who has promised me pampering treats including bubble bath, champagne and chocolates.  Oh and lots of pussy sucking.  I shall revel as she puts her head between my thighs and pleasures me for as long as I want.

Bliss.  Happy birthday to me...x

Asserting my authority

P's most recent visit didn't start well as my previous post described.  Getting her dates mixed up, not checking properly beforehand.  The kind of thing that annoys me.  I'd already decided against physical punishment.  I find that making her have a more mentally stimulating punishment helps her to focus on what went wrong and how to prevent it from happening again.  Though I have in the past used both physical and mental punishments combined to good effect.  I gave her 100 lines.  As my hussy is a teacher, it's an ironic and fitting punishment.  You may think I let her off lightly.  But she knew I was disappointed in her.  And often that is enough for her, to know she has let me down.  I had already given her a small lecture regarding her error.  She pledged to ensure all her dates and arrangements were double checked and written down in her diary so that it wouldn't happen again.

I re-asserted my authority over her in many other ways, not just in my chamber or by way of lines etc as suitable punishment.  I expect her to service me however I choose.  And during her week long visit, she was put to full and proper use.  Foot massage, pedicures, painting nails, hand massage, head massage, ensuring my tea cup was rarely empty, kneeling at my feet, being my footstool as I watched TV.  In my chamber she is respectful, obeys all instructions, gives her body to me for my whims, offers her tongue for my pleasure - at once submissive yet trusting.

They may not seem much, but they all help to assert my authority over my hussy, whether she has erred or not.  I am also encouraging her to talk to me again inside and outside of my chamber.  I want to know what's going on inside her head.  I want to make sure she is happy and content.  I want to know if she has any fears or concerns.  I don't want her to fear me.  This is about mutual consent.  I push her limits, introduce her to new experiences, respect her hard zones.  Sometimes we flirt in public, she brushes my hand against her skirt - she isn't wearing panties.  I will exchange a look and she will lower her eyes.  My beautiful hussy.  She knows who's boss.