Too old to be sexy?

Last week Madonna was promoting her new album MDNA and performed wearing fishnet tights, hot pants and lacy boots.  She was criticised by the media for wearing such apparel because of her age (she's 53).  Now while I may not wear the hot pants or the same kind of boots, I do still have a love of fishnets and boots generally.  I also still wear short skirts.  But the furore made me think - am I too old to be sexy?  When is it too old to be sexy?

Most of this is down to our own society and culture.  What is deemed correct and seemly for a woman to wear at certain ages.  I always have a little voice in my head looking at myself critically to gauge if I'm mutton dressed as lamb.  I accept that while still several years younger than Madonna, I am in my mid forties and hurtling towards the magic five-o.  So should I start to consider what I wear more often and temper if it appropriate.  Obviously I don't go over the top with work wear.  I am not necessarily conservative, but conform to the dress code ensuring I am smart and professional.  That doesn't stop me from wearing knee high boots with a knee length skirt or stiletto heels with my shift dress.  Sometimes I will wear seamed stockings with my stilettos which make me feel sexy and confident while adhering to the dress code. I know from certain admiring looks, that my legs remain my greatest asset and should be showed off to their full potential.  And I enjoy that buzz.

At the weekends I tend to be a jeans girl.  But I also love my denim mini skirt, teamed with funky tights and boots.  Or my kilt mini skirt, again with boots.  Or my PVC skirt.  Again my legs are on show with a variety of boots to show them off in.  In the privacy of my chamber, I have a different wardrobe.  Sexy lingerie, stockings, suspenders, high heeled shoes, basques and bra/panty sets that will make most men (and women) stand to attention.  And because it's private, I don't worry about what anyone will think.  It's just me and my hussy.  And she adores whatever I wear.  So she's biased!

So although I have my own barometer as to what is right or not, the fact that the media slated Madge for her sense of dress, has made me think again.  How much longer can I wear such garments?  When is it appropriate to wear a shorter skirt or when is it time to give it admit it just isn't sexy anymore?  I don't own a pair of hot pants though I have some denim shorts but they tend to be for hot, sunny holidays.  I don't feel comfortable wearing them walking down my local high street even in the height of summer.  I do wear some of my uber sexy lingerie to work under my blouse and skirt or classic shift dress.  Mentally it makes me feel sexy without being glaringly obvious.  I haven't worn fishnets at work as some younger girls do though I do wear them at weekends teamed with a pair of boots.  But is there a line whereby I just shouldn't wear the fishnets in public?  And is that line made by society, convention or the media?

I accept that in 20 or 30 years time, I won't look sexy in fishnets or a mini skirt no matter how much I'd like to.  But in terms of the near future, that line isn't so apparent.  Well not yet.  I'm not mentally prepared for middle age and conformity.  I don't know if I ever will be!  I will resist it as much as possible and hopefully grow old disgracefully.  I know I'm not as slim as I used to be, and I have to work harder to lose the weight and keep in shape.  Sometimes I win, sometimes I fail.  But there is always this sexy girl inside of me who wants to show off, turn a few heads and enjoy doing that.  So who's to tell me I can't do that, I shouldn't wear this or that or "you're too old love".  But as long as I can wear fishnets, mini skirts, seamed stockings, stilettos and boots and look sexy - then does my age really matter?

Hopefully not.  Unless your name is Madonna......

Alive and kicking!

I know it's been a while since I last posted here.  Home life has been hectic especially before Christmas with builders, carpenters, tilers and painters.  Though the end result has been worth the disruption!  After Christmas, other domestic issues simply took precedence so that both blog and D/s life went on the back burner.  My hussy has been my rock and strength during this time.  She has been there when I've needed her.  When things have seemed to be taking their toll, she has helped me to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  And now things at home are finally settling down, my thoughts are turning back to D/s.  The desire is returning.

Some of the routines we'd developed naturally went on hold.  But now I want to put them back into place.  We both need the routine of diaries, e-sessions and tasks.  On one of my hussy's recent visits, I bought her a bracelet to symbolise our D/s relationship.  She knows that whenever I ask her to wear it, she is under my instruction.  She is my submissive for that time.  I was delighted that she both understood its importance and significance.  It is only a simple thing, but it means I can text her when I want her to become both mentally and physically attuned to me even at a distance which is imperative as we are in a long distance relationship.

I also want her to start training again.  We had made so much progress last year especially with her anal training.  So much so that she stated a desire for her to experience strap on anal.  She has hinted at this before but I didn't feel she was ready for it.  As training has also been neglected in our temporary hiatus, she will need to get used to things again before we can reach the holy grail.

Mentally I am always thinking about our D/s.  Physical sessions haven't existed since last September and my confidence has taken a bit of a dip as a result.  The bracelet enables me to command her when she is wearing it and interlace it within our private life.  I can switch during the day from Domme to lover at the click of a clasp.  I know it will return to its former glory and hopefully attain a new level as she strives to be better for me.  Her dominant.

So I will be blogging more frequently.  It's all part of the process back to being well and truly alive.  The hairbrush has been sadly neglected but I feel it will be used quite frequently from now on...

Apologies

For the long silence but home life has been tres hectic leaving little time for even my blog.  And the next month or so will be even more fraught as our home is ripped apart by the builders!  It will be worth it!  I have had some wonderful times with P which I shall impart with you all.  However tomorrow is my glorious birthday.  I am going away with P and my best friend for the weekend.  I shall be spending the night with my hussy who has promised me pampering treats including bubble bath, champagne and chocolates.  Oh and lots of pussy sucking.  I shall revel as she puts her head between my thighs and pleasures me for as long as I want.

Bliss.  Happy birthday to me...x

Asserting my authority

P's most recent visit didn't start well as my previous post described.  Getting her dates mixed up, not checking properly beforehand.  The kind of thing that annoys me.  I'd already decided against physical punishment.  I find that making her have a more mentally stimulating punishment helps her to focus on what went wrong and how to prevent it from happening again.  Though I have in the past used both physical and mental punishments combined to good effect.  I gave her 100 lines.  As my hussy is a teacher, it's an ironic and fitting punishment.  You may think I let her off lightly.  But she knew I was disappointed in her.  And often that is enough for her, to know she has let me down.  I had already given her a small lecture regarding her error.  She pledged to ensure all her dates and arrangements were double checked and written down in her diary so that it wouldn't happen again.

I re-asserted my authority over her in many other ways, not just in my chamber or by way of lines etc as suitable punishment.  I expect her to service me however I choose.  And during her week long visit, she was put to full and proper use.  Foot massage, pedicures, painting nails, hand massage, head massage, ensuring my tea cup was rarely empty, kneeling at my feet, being my footstool as I watched TV.  In my chamber she is respectful, obeys all instructions, gives her body to me for my whims, offers her tongue for my pleasure - at once submissive yet trusting.

They may not seem much, but they all help to assert my authority over my hussy, whether she has erred or not.  I am also encouraging her to talk to me again inside and outside of my chamber.  I want to know what's going on inside her head.  I want to make sure she is happy and content.  I want to know if she has any fears or concerns.  I don't want her to fear me.  This is about mutual consent.  I push her limits, introduce her to new experiences, respect her hard zones.  Sometimes we flirt in public, she brushes my hand against her skirt - she isn't wearing panties.  I will exchange a look and she will lower her eyes.  My beautiful hussy.  She knows who's boss.

Still learning a lesson

My hussy should be here with me today.  But she isn't.  Instead she is still at home.  It may only be a trivial issue but my hussy never checks up on her arrangements.  For her, that arrangement is a simple one - cattery.  Her lovely two cats get their own week's holiday while she visits me.  She usually arranges this in advance, then promptly forgets what day they are supposed to be dropped off.  I have been asking her for a few weeks now to check when she was due to drop her cats off.  The only reply I have ever received was "Friday".  So I was all geared up for today, making sure her bed was ready etc etc.  The excitement levels were at a real high, full of anticipation and expectation.  Then last night she dropped the bombshell - she got her dates wrong.  She had the cattery booked from Saturday (tomorrow).

Trivial or not, my hussy never seems to check things properly, gets her dates and times muddled up.  I admit to being slightly confused in that when she is at work (as a teacher) she doesn't have these problems.  So obviously she has developed her own coping strategies and mechanisms not to miss a lesson, plan ahead and check dates and times.  I had a major issue with her last year when she missed a diary deadline completely because she went out socialising.  So to say I was miffed is an understatement.  I would have been really miffed if the cattery wasn't booked until next week especially as I have next week off work so we can be together.

Of course she knows she's in the dog house.  She knows she's going to get punished.  I have already devised a suitable punishment.  Not a physical one, I'm not vindictive.  Well I hope I'm not.  I'm sure there are some of you thinking it's a trivial matter and a sharp telling off is all that's required.  I know that doesn't work.  There needs to be something to back it up, teach her a lesson she is obviously still learning.  So after she has arrived sometime tomorrow, I will set out the punishment.  And it will be a taste of her own medicine.  As I've admonished her before, she wouldn't accept an excuse of being late or mixing up dates from her pupils and her colleagues wouldn't tolerate it if she did the same thing at work.

So trivial or not, she will accept her punishment and hopefully learn to check and double check any of her arrangements well in advance, write them down in her diary and tell me so I can make a note of them for back up.  Not the most auspicious start to our time off together, but I admit it also gets my dominant hormones racing.  Once it is done, it is done.  Slate clean.  And hopefully lesson well and truly learned.

Focusing the mind

My hussy has sent me 2 diaries since I sent her instructions.  The first diary was timestamped 18 minutes late according to my email in box.  My hussy was upset as she stated she had sent it before the deadline.  I was able to investigate a little more and establish that her original email had been sent 5 minutes before the deadline.  Cyberspace seemed to have delayed it for an unknown reason.  Feeling generous, I gave her the benefit of the doubt.  For her this meant a reprieve and no punishment.  However, it may well have a positive effect as the 2nd diary arrived with plenty of time to spare.  Fear of failure.  She strives for perfection.  She sets her sights high.  However she is not a natural time keeper and I have had problems in the past with late, or even, missed out diaries altogether.  But this is all to focus her mind.  And you can read some of her words.

1)
"Diary – Friday 12th August 2011 

A week to go now and I have my instructions from You, to prepare myself for the visit to You.  I’m looking forward to it in so many ways, but am also nervous.  I know that in recent months we’ve not been as active as before and I get scared that my tolerance gets lower.  I always want to be able to cope with whatever my Lady wishes to do to me.  It may not happen but it’s in the back of my mind, I don’t want to let You down. 

Mentally I’m getting into the right frame of mind.  My books are to hand and do help.  I’m starting to think to plan the only elements of a session that I have any control over and ensuring my appearance will please You. 

I miss You so much and can’t wait to be with You again, kneeling before You, where I belong."

2)
"Diary – Sunday 14th August 2011 

I’m starting to feel a little calmer now.  I know that there are currently no punishments due, especially after the delay of my last diary was resolved.  It’s not just punishments that I worry about being able to handle.  I want to be able to cope with anything You might want to be in the mood to do.  I can’t help the fear of failure, it is part of me and not something I can stop, no matter how much I wish that I could. 

I’m looking forward to daily service.  I do so love even the simple tasks like massaging Your feet.  It gives such a sense of fulfilment being able to bring You pleasure and relaxation.  Knowing each day will contain something for You and with You is very exciting. 

... My books have a proper permanent place on the book shelves and I’ve the space to be able to train properly again now too.  I’m looking forward to a training session tonight...The very idea of over a week together is a tremendous delight, it seems like an age since that last happened.  February I suppose it was.  I do miss You horribly at times but hope that we’ll find a balance during our time together."

A week to go

The countdown has begun.  Just a few days now until my hussy arrives at the end of next week.  It will be wonderful to see her and I certainly have plans!  But first I need to get her focused and in the right mindset.  To aid this I have sent her early instructions.  They are here for you to read and are typical of the kind of instructions I send her whenever she visits me, or I visit her.  I add or delete things depending on my mood.  I think she's in no doubt from these instructions of what kind of mood I'm already in...

"My darling Hussy

It is nearing the time of your visit and I am issuing you with specific instructions.  I expect you to follow my orders precisely as listed below:

1)   You will refrain from pleasuring yourself (touching ban) from 11pm on Wednesday 17 August.

2)   You will read your sub books and meditate each day to ensure you establish the right headspace for my visit.

3)   To continue with your training on a daily basis.  This is not for pleasure and you will not orgasm from it.  Until your touching ban occurs, you can orgasm for pleasure separately.  Training reinforces the bond between you and your Lady.

4)   Wherever possible you will wear the jewelled butt plug for a minimum of an hour each day.

5)   You will write a diary for me to be sent to my usual email address no later than 11pm on the following days:

·         Friday 12 August

·         Sunday 14 August

·         Tuesday 16 August

·         Thursday 18 August

These diaries should tell me how your preparation and training is progressing and that you are becoming mentally prepared for your visit.

6)   To ensure you are shaved and presentable at anytime for my immediate inspection which may be unannounced.

7)   To ensure that your wash bag, toy bag and cushion are available at any time I chose to inspect or make use of them.

8)   To bring your hair brush with you.

9)   To bring with you three sets of lingerie and appropriate clothing for your sessions.  Other clothing should enable you to be smart yet comfortable as you will be instructed to serve me at any time.  I will leave the choice up to you but the lingerie and clothes must be clean.  For your session your hair must be presented in a pony tail.

10)  You will not wear panties on your drive down from xxxxx to my home on Friday 19 August.  If panties are permitted, it will be at my discretion.

11)  To be fully prepared mentally and physically.  I expect complete obedience and compliance at all times.

Your Lady

X"