Focusing the mind

My hussy has sent me 2 diaries since I sent her instructions.  The first diary was timestamped 18 minutes late according to my email in box.  My hussy was upset as she stated she had sent it before the deadline.  I was able to investigate a little more and establish that her original email had been sent 5 minutes before the deadline.  Cyberspace seemed to have delayed it for an unknown reason.  Feeling generous, I gave her the benefit of the doubt.  For her this meant a reprieve and no punishment.  However, it may well have a positive effect as the 2nd diary arrived with plenty of time to spare.  Fear of failure.  She strives for perfection.  She sets her sights high.  However she is not a natural time keeper and I have had problems in the past with late, or even, missed out diaries altogether.  But this is all to focus her mind.  And you can read some of her words.

1)
"Diary – Friday 12th August 2011 

A week to go now and I have my instructions from You, to prepare myself for the visit to You.  I’m looking forward to it in so many ways, but am also nervous.  I know that in recent months we’ve not been as active as before and I get scared that my tolerance gets lower.  I always want to be able to cope with whatever my Lady wishes to do to me.  It may not happen but it’s in the back of my mind, I don’t want to let You down. 

Mentally I’m getting into the right frame of mind.  My books are to hand and do help.  I’m starting to think to plan the only elements of a session that I have any control over and ensuring my appearance will please You. 

I miss You so much and can’t wait to be with You again, kneeling before You, where I belong."

2)
"Diary – Sunday 14th August 2011 

I’m starting to feel a little calmer now.  I know that there are currently no punishments due, especially after the delay of my last diary was resolved.  It’s not just punishments that I worry about being able to handle.  I want to be able to cope with anything You might want to be in the mood to do.  I can’t help the fear of failure, it is part of me and not something I can stop, no matter how much I wish that I could. 

I’m looking forward to daily service.  I do so love even the simple tasks like massaging Your feet.  It gives such a sense of fulfilment being able to bring You pleasure and relaxation.  Knowing each day will contain something for You and with You is very exciting. 

... My books have a proper permanent place on the book shelves and I’ve the space to be able to train properly again now too.  I’m looking forward to a training session tonight...The very idea of over a week together is a tremendous delight, it seems like an age since that last happened.  February I suppose it was.  I do miss You horribly at times but hope that we’ll find a balance during our time together."

A week to go

The countdown has begun.  Just a few days now until my hussy arrives at the end of next week.  It will be wonderful to see her and I certainly have plans!  But first I need to get her focused and in the right mindset.  To aid this I have sent her early instructions.  They are here for you to read and are typical of the kind of instructions I send her whenever she visits me, or I visit her.  I add or delete things depending on my mood.  I think she's in no doubt from these instructions of what kind of mood I'm already in...

"My darling Hussy

It is nearing the time of your visit and I am issuing you with specific instructions.  I expect you to follow my orders precisely as listed below:

1)   You will refrain from pleasuring yourself (touching ban) from 11pm on Wednesday 17 August.

2)   You will read your sub books and meditate each day to ensure you establish the right headspace for my visit.

3)   To continue with your training on a daily basis.  This is not for pleasure and you will not orgasm from it.  Until your touching ban occurs, you can orgasm for pleasure separately.  Training reinforces the bond between you and your Lady.

4)   Wherever possible you will wear the jewelled butt plug for a minimum of an hour each day.

5)   You will write a diary for me to be sent to my usual email address no later than 11pm on the following days:

·         Friday 12 August

·         Sunday 14 August

·         Tuesday 16 August

·         Thursday 18 August

These diaries should tell me how your preparation and training is progressing and that you are becoming mentally prepared for your visit.

6)   To ensure you are shaved and presentable at anytime for my immediate inspection which may be unannounced.

7)   To ensure that your wash bag, toy bag and cushion are available at any time I chose to inspect or make use of them.

8)   To bring your hair brush with you.

9)   To bring with you three sets of lingerie and appropriate clothing for your sessions.  Other clothing should enable you to be smart yet comfortable as you will be instructed to serve me at any time.  I will leave the choice up to you but the lingerie and clothes must be clean.  For your session your hair must be presented in a pony tail.

10)  You will not wear panties on your drive down from xxxxx to my home on Friday 19 August.  If panties are permitted, it will be at my discretion.

11)  To be fully prepared mentally and physically.  I expect complete obedience and compliance at all times.

Your Lady

X"

Preparation

I know how I want P to prepare, how I want her to look, how I want her to act, how I want her to be. I have slowly started to mould her into how I want my hussy to be. Everything from hair, clothes and makeup to personal bodily appearance. And not just physically, but mentally too. How she sees me, how she must act with me, what she says, how she says it. What she thinks about me, how often, in what way. To be mentally and physically prepared. But how does her Domme prepare?

I suppose I prepare in much the same way. But some of them are for different reasons. One of my first priorities is safety. I ensure all my equipment is clean. It is P’s responsibility to clean the toys after each session. But I always check the toys that remain with me. Next are my finger nails. I trim these prior to each session, ensuring they are short and smooth. Sadly this often means cutting off my long, luscious nails that have been growing for 3 – 4 weeks. But I can’t take any risk when playing intimately with P. I use gloves for anal play and it doesn’t detract from the feelings we both get. But I ensure no cross contamination. Losing the nails isn’t such a bad thing; it means I can type properly at work!

As P does, I ensure my body is scrubbed, moisturised and shaved. I shaved my pussy before doing it to P, and I believe that if I expect her to be this way, then so should I. I now much prefer the clean, nude appearance. I always choose an outfit to suit my mood. Sometimes sensual and teasing, others strict and stern. It all depends on how I have planned the session. My dress immediately sets the tone. Of course whatever I wear, P is always excited and aroused when she sees me. But I take pride in my appearance and as her Domme; I need to set the example. One of course, a hussy can never hope to emulate….

As well as appearance, I choose how to greet P. Sometimes I sit on the bed, legs seductively crossed with my usual feather fan held up to my face. This obscures my top half. Sometimes I stand with my back to her so she is left under no illusion of who is dominant. I tower over her as she kneels behind me.

I make sure the chamber is set up. Towels etc in place, toys ready to hand. I place things on view. It tends to give P a sense of peace, along with kneeling at my feet. I also set the room up how I want it for play. Mirrors in the right spot, a chair or stool, or whatever I want to engage P with for the duration. I always try to make the session run as smoothly and seamlessly possible.

Mentally I tune into my Domme side a couple of days beforehand. Mainly by giving P specific instructions but also planning for the session. Sometimes I talk to P about them (but never reveal too much!). I also read as it helps to clear and focus the mind into Domme space. As much as there is sub space, I believe there is Domme space. Once in Domme space, nothing else matters except you and your sub. Time can stand still, the world outside fades away, and all there is in your existence is the two of you and what you can do to them. The highs are enormous. The drop can be even more so. With each session I have learned to handle the drop and remain comforted with the session memories and emotions.

Part of those memories is smell. I always scent my body and hence the room gets scented too. P had commented on it in her diaries. Helps to calm. I have a scent I only really use in the chamber so it differentiates between me and Her. And I can recall the scent in a second and with it come the memories. So clear and real as if we were doing it all over again. And just as important, are P’s scents. She uses a perfume which I associate with the chamber. Then there is the scent of her body, her arousal and sex. I make her taste herself; let her know who is in control of her body.

All these things help to build the tension between us. Tension, arousal and anticipation. P has a fear of the unknown. Stepping into my chamber is like stepping off a cliff. She has no idea what will happen. I have the plan in my head, but allow for things to flow freely of their own accord too. And that is an element of surprise in itself. Sometimes my own actions take me unawares. But it is the preparation that enhances the whole session. Yes you can do things ad-hoc, take the chance when the mood takes you. But preparing for a session is the hottest thing in the world…